Every now and then there's a good argument in the backseat on the way to the bus stop. Sometimes, for my own amusement, I just listen and don't say a word... My kids are pure comedy, and good comedy is not to be interrupted...
(and if you don't know already, the twins are 9 and my son is 10)
Damani: "Dahvin, it's my turn to sit in the back!"
Damaris: "Yeah, Dahvin, it's her turn."
Donovan: "How many times do I have to tell you two, my name is not Dahvin!"
Damani: "Well, we've been calling you Dahvin ever since we learned to talk, so guess what? Your name is.... DAHVIN!!! Bwahhhhahhaaa!"
Donovan: "How about I jack up your name then, DaMONTI? How you like them beans?"
Damaris: "Ooh, that's ugly."
Donovan: "And I'ma call you DamariUs, Damaris. Jacked UP, isn't it?"
Damaris: "I hate it when people say my name like that! That's not my name!"
Donovan: "Exactly. And Dahvin is not my name."
Damani: "Well, I don't care. I've been calling you Dahvin for 9 years and I'm your baby sister and you should just make an exception for me because we're family and because I'm gonna KEEP calling you Dahvin ESPECIALLY because you don't like it and you're gonna forget about calling me Damonti so I'm not even going to worry about it so now how are you liking YOUR beans Dahvin? And earlier you said 'them' beans instead of 'those' beans so you owe me a quarter for using bad grammar."
Donovan: "Little girl, sometimes you make me wanna kick you in the face." (That's my fault because I use that expression all the time.)
Damani: "We shall not engage in fisticuffs today. Sorry."
Damaris: "What's fisticuffs?"
Donovan: "Fisticuffs is me punching her in the throat." (My fault too.)
Damani: "Uh-uhhh! I'll tell Daddy!"
Donovan: ".... ... ok, so fisticuffs is not me punching her in the throat. Fisticuffs is me punching her favorite teddy bear in the throat and pretending that it's her."
Damani: "None of my teddy bears have throats. Try again."
Donovan: "... ... 8 more years and you're out of my life forever."
Damani: "How?"
Donovan: "'Cause I'll be 18 and I can move out."
Damani: "You better be quiet, didn't mommom make you pack a bag the last time you said that?"
Donovan: "Uggh! Why do you talk so much?"
Damani: "Whatever. DAHVIN."
Donovan: "Ugggggh! My name is NOT Dahvin! My name is DONOVAN. It's a very common Irish name and mommom liked the way it sounded so that's why she picked it. Try it one time. DONOVAN."
Damani: "Oh, so you're a commoner. DAHVIN."
Donovan: "I am not a commoner! There's also a football player named after me, so take that."
Damani: "Well, actually he's older than you, that means he was here first so technically you were named after him. Commoner."
Donovan: "Right in the eye Mani, right in the eye!" (My bad...)
Damani: "Me, I'm an original. Mommom gave me an original name. And my middle name is special too, I was named after a famous author and film maker. Oscar Micheaux."
Donovan: *snort* "MiSHOX. And you look like an Ox. And an Oscar too."
Damani: "You do not pronounce my middle name Mishox!!! You pronounce it Mich-O! E-A-U-X sounds like 'O', you commoner!"
Donovan: "DaMONTI MiSHOX. That's a jacked up name. Bwaahhhhaaaa!"
Damaris: "Well, mommom saw my name in a magazine. The lady was a model and she was pretty and mommom thought the name was pretty. And since I'm pretty she gave me a pretty name. Can't argue with that. (and then she bursts into song: I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty...")
Donovan: starts singing..."You're so pretty, but your sister's ugly... she looks like an Ox - so you can call her MishOX - 'cause she's so ugly...."
Damani: "What a dumb song. Nonsensical."
Donovan: "Nonsensical? You're such a nerd."
Damani: "Commoner!"
Donovan: "Nerd!"
Damani: "Commoner!"
Donovan: "Nerd!"
Damani: "Keep on and I'll tell mommom you've been changing into shorts everyday after she drops us off in the mornings. 40 degrees outside and you're trying to wear shorts to school all because Nakara said you had nice legs. Keep on, I'll tell it!"
Donovan: "... ... ughh! Can't even have an argument without you trying to tell something on somebody!"
Damaris: "I'm too pretty to argue."
Donovan & Damani: "Shut it Damaris!"
Nakena: (laughing my ass off) "Ok! Here we are! Get out! Have a good day at school! Love you! Bye! What's taking you so long? Get out! Bye!"
Gotta get back to work now, just wanted to post that before I forgot the good parts. I hope you've all been well. I miss you guys!
Bye!
~N
