One of my friends has been saying for a while now that it’s time to let go of people and things that are unhealthy, that hold no value for you or for what you’re trying to accomplish in life.
When I look to my past, all the faces that have fallen by the wayside on my journey to where I am today don’t really haunt me, but I do wonder at times. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if… Sometimes I’m glad there was no if. I don’t dwell on it, I keep it moving. I think if those people were meant to be in my life today, they would be.
Facebook, however much we love to hate the fact that we love it, is a great tool for finding and reconnecting with people from your past. Remember that best friend from 5th grade that moved away and you cried for days because you didn’t know how you would face 6th grade without them?
Or that boyfriend you were in LOVE with – and I’m talking LOVE, not the silly internet love people express these days, or the ridiculous “I’m tired of being lonely, so I love you” phase people get in after two dates. I mean LOVE, like your first love where you felt it with every bit of your heart, you got butterflies when you saw him in the hallway, you melted when he glanced your way and died when he held your hand. You saved every note he ever wrote you, every card. The matching t-shirts you wore when he took you to Carowinds are moth-eaten and suffering in a box in your mom’s attic. How did Mary J. Blige put it? “Reminisce on the love we had….”
Oh, the days.
Facebook is also a great tool to snap your ass right back to reality.
That best friend for whom you bought the BFF necklace (remember the ones where the charm split in half and you could give the other half to your bestie?) isn’t your best friend anymore. You found them on Facebook and screamed Oh My God!!! It’s My Bestie!!! Then you sent them a friend request screaming, “Oh Em Geee!!! I can’t believe I found you! How have you been!?!? We have to catch up girl!”
Your former BFF accepts your request but never sends you that note in reply so that you could catch up. Doesn’t say a word. A couple of months go by, still nothing. You feel kinda let down. Why isn’t she as happy to see me as I am her? You wonder if you were ever really best friends, or if you were simply more of a BFF to her than she was to you. Or you wonder if that person just had more impact on your life than you did on theirs. Really, that’s some shit that can get depressing if you dwell on it.
That boyfriend that you thought was soooooo fine back then, mullet and all, accepts your friend request and you can finally see the rest of his photo albums and his wall. All you can think is WOW. Dude, you broke up with me because I had a Jheri Curl and caught the chicken pox and scarred. I was so hurt when you started dating that light skinned chick with the perfect face and the long hair after telling me that she looked better than me. Well, mofo, apparently now the joke is on YOU! What in the sam hell happened to YOUR face? Looks like somebody (maybe the light skinned chick with the long hair that turned out to be bat-shit-loony) beat you with a sock full of fish tank gravel.
Thank you Lord for the pox you once placed upon me. I now understand that was a blessing.
Amen.
When I look at my today, there are many, many people I have allowed space in my life and haven’t yet figured out why. Who are you again? Why are you in my space, in my place, and yes – in my face? I think it's important to ask yourself those questions. There's so much yadda about people and their baggage from the past. Do you ever stop to think about the baggage you're collecting in your today?
When I look to my future, I see certain people in it. I recognize that certain people aren’t. I’m taking my friends advice and letting some people go. And I’m pretty sure that those people I can’t envision in my future are going to or have already let me go too.
You know what? That’s ok.
Let ‘em go and continue on with life. Let me go and continue on with yours. Reminisce on those people and things that bring you good feelings when you think about them today. No need to reminisce on what never really was reminisce-worthy, right?
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