Private Dancer

Does anyone else dance in the kitchen?

I do...and quite often...

Late this afternoon, I took my kids to a sleepover and went to the grocery store. Got back from the grocery store and was putting things away, all of a sudden Tina Turner's song Private Dancer popped into my head. Next thing I know I'm singing in my best Anna Mae Bullock voice and doing a nice little gyration around my little teeny kitchen. I bet it was wayyyyyy sexxxy too...

"I'm your private dancer, a dancer for money"...(Putting away French cut String Beans)

"I'll do what you want me to do"...(Wondering why I bought regular white bread instead of White Wheat)

"I'm your private dancer, a dancer for money"...(Throwing leftovers out of the fridge)

"And any old music will do"...(Hiding my IBC Black Cherry Soda behind my Tea Pitcher so the kids won't see it right away...)

"Hmmm, hmm-hmmm-hmmm, hmm"...(Where the hell is my other can of Ravioli?)

"And the men are all the same"...(I bet I look so hot right now!!!)

"You don't look at their faces"...(Ha!, the kids missed these cookies righchere, I'ma eat these lata, yayuh!!)

"And you don't ask their names"...(Replacing the garbage bag in the trash can...)

"Hmm, hmm-hmm-hmmmmm- hmm"...(Removing the new bag, spraying the can with Lysol, then RE-replacing the garbage bag in the trash can...)

"You don't think of them at all"...(I pop the rubber band holding my pony-tail and whip my head around to get that sultry, mussed hair look...)

"You keep your mind on the money"...(I should really do this in front of a mirror so I can see how hot I am...)

"Keeping your eyes on the wall"...(Spin around, hook my thumbs in the waist of my capri's and do a sexy little rock from side to side...In my mind I'm hooking thumbs in a lil sexilicious red thong...yeaaah...)

"Deutch marks or dollars"...(Bump a deutch mark OR a dollar, this dance right here is worth a damn Gold BRICK, shiiiiiitttt...)

"American Express will do nicely, thank you"...(Tripped over the case of bottled water when leaving the kitchen...)

"Let me loosen up your collar"...(Recovered nicely, pick back up in mid-gyration...bump-bump-grind, bump-bump-griiiiind...)

"Tell me, do you wanna see my shimmy again?"...(Here is where I wrapped my right leg around the corner wall as if it were a stripper pole and looked over my right shoulder at an imaginary man giving him my best smoldering eyes...you know, the come hither and f*** me look...)

"I'm your private dancer, your dancer for money"...(I tear myself away from the wall as if It hurt to do it and saunter into the living room...)

"I'll do what you want me to do"...(Here I start to lift my shirt over my head while doing my little booty rock, but I change my mind...)

"I'm your private dancer, dancer for money"...(Damn, I wish there was a man here...)

"And any old music will do"...(I'd give his ass a private dance all right, wear his ass right on out...)

"Hmmm, hmm-hmm-hmm"...(Damn, this is sad, but fuck it, I'm a Private Dancer...)

"Hmmm, hmmm-hmmm, hmm-hmm-hmm..hmmmm..."